From her bedroom window, Dr. Zabina Bhasin could hear her son and his friends playing pretend in the yard. It was a pretty idyllic scene—until she heard her then-7-year-old’s voice shout, “I’m not your servant, I’m a man!”
The phrase caught Bhasin, a child psychiatrist, completely off guard. “I jumped off my bed and was like, ‘What did you just say?’” Bhasin tells Yahoo. “I was like, where is this influence coming from? Is it peers or something he heard somewhere, because my husband is not that person. He’s the opposite of the manosphere,” she explains, referring to online content that focuses, sometimes problematically, on masculinity.
Bhasin’s son, whose name she chose to withhold for privacy reasons, is not on social media. But he does play Roblox, and Bhasin has no way of knowing for sure whether his friends have TikTok accounts or what they watch on YouTube.
“I was blown away,” Bhasin says.
What she heard from her son didn’t reflect her household’s definition of what it means to be a man. Both she and her husband share chores and changed their two children’s diapers when they were babies. Her son’s remark raised concerns about toxic masculinity.
### The Rise of Toxic Masculinity Online
As Bhasin points out, notions of masculinity are nothing new, and they’re certainly not unique to the internet. But social media has given a platform to the manosphere, turning it into big business, thanks in part to algorithms that promote masculinity content and influencers to adolescent boys—whether they’re searching for it or not.
This is according to a new report from Common Sense Media.
Concern about men, especially boys, has been growing in recent years. Factors include controversial influencers like Andrew Tate, rising rates of loneliness among male Americans, and popular series such as Netflix’s *Adolescence*.
Researchers at Common Sense Media surveyed and interviewed more than 1,000 boys between the ages of 11 and 17 to better understand what they’re seeing online and how it might shape their beliefs about masculinity.
These findings reveal how some boys are navigating the digital world.
### Most Boys Are Seeing Masculinity Content Online
Common Sense Media’s survey found that about three-quarters (73%) of boys regularly see masculinity content online. A smaller share—23%—experience high levels of exposure to this type of material.
Michael Robb, head of research at Common Sense Media and a developmental psychologist, was struck by the fact that the vast majority of boys aren’t actively seeking out this content nor receiving it from friends. Instead, social media algorithms present it to them.
### The Difference Between Harmful and Healthy Masculinity
Robb categorizes masculinity content into two broad groups.
First, there are neutral but boy-coded videos, websites, posts, and games involving topics such as workouts, dating, or having a side hustle. These are generally less concerning.
Second, there is content focused on gender stereotypes, which is more troubling.
“I don’t want to imply that all masculinity content online is bad, but there is definitely a subset we think is more problematic,” Robb says. Boys might encounter messages suggesting men and boys are treated unfairly or that girls and women only want to date certain kinds of boys.
The report found that two-thirds of boys are routinely exposed to these kinds of messages about gender stereotypes online.
It’s hard to say exactly why algorithms push this relatively fringe content or why boys engage with it, but Robb suggests that social media companies tend to promote edgy material because it generates more reaction. Moreover, this content can reinforce a worldview boys are already primed to adopt, making it easier for them to avoid changing or trying new perspectives.
“Misogyny didn’t start online,” Robb notes. Boys may hear these messages from family, friends, or movies, but online, they can take root more deeply.
“In these online communities of like-minded individuals, [boys] walk directly into an echo chamber,” Jamie Cohen, assistant professor of media studies at Queens College, New York City, tells Yahoo. “It can become very hard to leave.”
### Masculinity Content, Loneliness, and Low Self-Esteem
It’s not just about negative messaging toward women and girls; masculinity content online also influences how boys see themselves.
Almost every boy (91%) surveyed reported seeing body image content online—whether about “mewing,” muscle-building, or “maxxing.” A quarter said social media made them feel pressure to change their appearance, and that number rises sharply among boys with higher exposure to masculinity content.
Boys who see high levels of masculinity content are four times more likely to feel pressured to alter how they look compared to boys with little exposure.
“It’s good to be healthy and exercise,” Robb explains, “but to focus to the extent that you have to change the way you are, I think that leans really negative and impacts some boys’ well-being.”
These effects are far from theoretical. A 2023 Canadian study found that hospitalizations of boys for eating disorders rose by 416% between 2002 and 2019. Now an estimated one in three people with disordered eating is male.
The Common Sense Media report also found that boys who feel lonely or have low self-esteem are significantly more likely to consume large amounts of masculinity content.
Experts acknowledge that the internet can be a great place to find community. But when boys are told they need to change how they look or behave to belong, it can deepen negative self-image and isolation.
“Loneliness is a gap in interactivity, meaning an exchange between two people,” explains Cohen. “When content consumption is done and none of it works, it doesn’t create [community].”
### Influencers Make a Big Impression on Boys
Robb suspects the impact of individual fringe influencers like Andrew Tate might be overstated. However, influencers in general do have a real effect.
More than 70% of boys with high exposure to masculinity content said influencers inspire them. Around 68% called influencers helpful.
While most boys still report turning to parents first during hard times, one in three said an influencer had helped them through difficulties. That number rises to 48% among boys who consume high levels of masculinity content.
Like body image content, there’s a fine line between what’s healthy and what’s not.
“If boys don’t feel like they have anyone at home or school to talk to about emotional challenges, online communities can be a lifeline,” Robb explains. But sometimes boys may pick up harmful messages from influencers alongside the good.
“11- to 17-year-old boys may not be aware that what influencers say is financially motivated,” Cohen says. “It’s people with experience talking to people who don’t have experience.”
Unlike educational content made for children, influencers’ primary goal is monetization, Cohen adds, which may push them to toe a line that borders on harm.
### Digital Masculinity Content Encourages Boys to Hide Their Feelings
While boys may turn to influencers for support, many are also receiving harmful messaging encouraging them to hide their feelings.
Boys exposed to the most masculinity content were four times more likely to report hiding hurt feelings from friends and tend to avoid talking about emotions altogether.
Bhasin has witnessed this firsthand with her now 8-year-old son, which she believes relates to video games he plays.
“He started having nightmares but didn’t want to tell his parents because he was trying to be like, ‘I can’t have fear, I have to be strong,’” Bhasin says.
She and her husband eventually got their son to open up, which Bhasin suspects was related to some intense games on Roblox.
“If we look at the definition of masculinity, it’s that you’re not supposed to be vulnerable to anybody,” she explains.
Bhasin, Cohen, and Robb all want boys to grow up hearing a different message.
“There are a lot of kids out there that need to know there are many ways to be a man, and role models who demonstrate that,” Robb says.
### What Parents Can Do
The most important advice may sound simple but can be challenging to practice: just talk to your kids.
Parents and caregivers need to have open, nonjudgmental conversations about what their children are encountering online, experts emphasize.
Robb and Cohen suggest several strategies:
1. **Start with Technology:** Boys are surprisingly comfortable talking about technology. Ask your kids to give you a tour of their social media feeds or favorite video games instead of directly asking how they feel about the content. This can open the door to deeper conversations.
2. **Stay Calm and Curious:** If your child shows you something offensive or concerning, try to approach it with curiosity and ask questions rather than reacting harshly or with immediate judgment. Avoiding a visceral “this is bad” reaction can prevent pushing your child away.
3. **Educate Yourself and Share:** Since kids are going to be online, the goal isn’t to ban the internet but to prevent their digital world from becoming an echo chamber you know nothing about. Learn about masculinity content, digital spaces, and influencers, and suggest healthy alternatives to your children.
By engaging actively with their children’s online lives, parents can help counteract harmful narratives and support healthier, more inclusive notions of masculinity.
https://ca.style.yahoo.com/masculinity-maxxing-and-the-manosphere-are-big-online-how-thats-affecting-boys-in-4-charts-090003230.html