Aubern Marshall was running errands this summer when the sudden sputtering of her car filled her with a sense of dread. The 35-year-old Sarasota woman had already poured nearly $2,000 into the vehicle to fix a broken radiator and blown cylinder. Another batch of cylinders was likely to cost another grand. As it was, her budget had been extremely tight.
With food costs soaring for thousands of local households this year, Aubern, a single mother of four sons under the age of 17, found her grocery bills shooting through the roof. “We’re going to have to start gardening and raising chickens,” she would joke with the boys. But with back-to-back car repairs, the situation had become dire.
Despite working a well-paying job, Aubern was falling dangerously behind on the rent. And now her financial crisis was not just impacting her and the kids—it was about to hurt the one man who’d always stood by her side: her father.
As Aubern’s car limped once again into the mechanic’s shop, she was determined to find help. She wouldn’t let him down.
**“I got you”**
From age 7 through the end of high school, Aubern recalls looking up into the stands at her basketball games to find her father cheering for her. It didn’t matter if she’d missed an easy layup or swooshed a three-pointer; his smiling face was the biggest shot in the arm.
After her parents’ divorce, Aubern and her brother lived with their father for a time as they grew up in Augusta, Georgia. But much later, when she was an adult, he moved south to Florida, returning often for visits, especially when Aubern and her brother both started families.
“I wanna see my grandkids!” her dad would announce when in town, play wrestling with the boys. He stayed atop the kids’ interests. He bought them gifts like skateboards and a guitar—plus lessons for the oldest—and gave advice as they got older about college plans, credit, and social responsibilities.
“Until you get married, your mother is the most important woman in your life,” he’d tell them.
By then, Aubern held a good job with her Georgia county overseeing building permits. Costs were reasonable. Her mom was nearby with lots of support. So was her brother’s family and childhood friends. But about two years ago, her dad asked Aubern to move to Sarasota with the kids.
She loved the idea. She missed her dad. And by then a single mom, the boys were the most important thing in her life. She wanted them to have a strong male role model. But she was concerned about how they’d adjust—and where she would work.
Her dad told her not to worry. He was going to hire her into his small home-building construction company to handle invoicing for his subcontractors and assist with permitting needs.
“I got you,” he said.
**“Burdening someone”**
After the move, the oldest kids—now 17, 15, and 7—quickly took to Sarasota. They thrived at school and made new friends. They got to see their grandpa all the time.
“They love being with my dad,” Aubern said.
But Aubern was shocked at the change in the cost of living.
“It’s insane how drastic it is,” she said.
At first, she struggled to find child care for her youngest, now 2. Prices made her jaw drop: some places charged several hundred dollars a week. Eventually, she received assistance through the Early Learning Coalition of Sarasota County, lowering her weekly share to $80, which allowed her to focus on work.
And then there was housing. With four growing boys, she searched for anything manageable but spacious. A small three-bedroom townhome she finally rented cost her $2,600 a month—the same amount her brother’s family paid back in Augusta, though for something twice the size.
Then this year, her dad bought a new four-bedroom house for her and the boys. At 2,500 square feet, it was almost double the amount of room compared to the townhome. And he charged her only $2,900 a month toward the mortgage, whose total she could only begin to imagine.
At first, Aubern was handling everything just fine. This summer, she got her 7-year-old into a YMCA summer camp. Meanwhile, the oldest two attended a free one at the Laurel Civic Association that featured guest speakers.
One day, the 15-year-old returned home declaring, “I want to do mechanical engineering!” as the oldest volunteered to teach youngsters how to read and to help at Laurel Civic’s food bank.
And then one shoe after another dropped.
As groceries soared, Aubern pinched her pennies. Some nights she cooked organic, healthy options for the boys. But for others, she resorted to old-school spaghetti, hot dogs, and hamburgers. She turned to Laurel Civic’s food bank, which helped.
But then the car broke down. And broke down again. Each time both parents chipped in.
“If it weren’t for my support system, it would be pretty bad,” she said.
However, by the third repair, Aubern was at her wits’ end. Through it all, she was also juggling a family health crisis. And with all her other resources tapped, she would not be able to make her monthly payment for September’s mortgage.
She was crushed. Her dad was already doing so much for her and the boys. Now, she realized, the crisis in her household was about to spill over onto him.
“You can’t help but feel you’re burdening someone,” she said.
**Crushing costs of living**
Aubern is not alone.
This summer, Laurel Civic has seen a major spike in requests for help by working families, in large part due to increasing food and utility costs, said Kristi Ackerman, director of adult services.
Most families must spend $800 to $1,000 a month on groceries, depending on how many children they have.
“If they can’t get SNAP benefits,” Ackerman said of working families and food assistance, “I have no clue how they are doing it.”
Indeed, families with young children are some of the hardest hit among thousands of area households that have fallen into economic hardship due to soaring costs of living, a recent study showed.
The annual survival budget for a family of four in Sarasota County has climbed to $104,424. Yet the median income is only $77,705, according to the recent United Way Suncoast ALICE report, which stands for Asset-Limited, Income-Constrained, Employed.
The ALICE reports show that times are especially challenging for single moms whose households in Sarasota and Manatee counties overwhelmingly fall under ALICE or below the poverty line.
**For Aubern, at least, there was light at the end of the tunnel.**
A case manager at Laurel Civic told her about Season of Sharing and helped her apply. The fund covered $2,000 of September’s rent. Aubern will pay the remaining $900.
The boost relieved a tremendous stress from her shoulders and allowed her to get back on track.
Through it all, Aubern leaned heavily on her faith, and she is grateful for the “village” that is there for her and the kids. And she is especially thankful for her parents, particularly her father.
Just like when she was younger, he is always cheering Aubern on—this time as she has built confidence in herself as a single mom.
She also detects his influence on the boys as they grow into young men. Whenever Aubern is worried, the oldest will wrap his arms around her in a reassuring hug. The second oldest will take the youngest to play so she can rest.
And recently, buckled in the back seat of their car, her 7-year-old asked, “Mommy, can I pray?” He thanked God for all their family members. Then he thanked God for God’s help for everyone.
At the wheel, Aubern fought back tears as well as a laugh.
“You’re already talking to God. You don’t need to thank God for God,” she told her son.
“They are great kids,” she said. “My four biggest blessings.”
Despite its challenges, Aubern doesn’t regret for a second her relocation to Florida. Neither does her dad.
“I’m so happy you guys moved down here,” he told her.
For Aubern, his smiling face and pride in her is still one of the greatest shots in the arm.
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### How to Help
Season of Sharing, a program administered by the Community Foundation of Sarasota County, assists individuals and families in an emergency with rent, mortgage, transportation, utility, and child care expenses in Sarasota, Manatee, DeSoto, and Charlotte counties.
You can donate to Season of Sharing by visiting [cfsarasota.org](https://www.cfsarasota.org) or calling 941-556-2399.
You can also mail a check to:
Season of Sharing
Community Foundation of Sarasota County
2635 Fruitville Road
Sarasota, FL 34237
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*This story comes from a partnership between the Sarasota Herald-Tribune and the Community Foundation of Sarasota County.*
*Saundra Amrhein covers the Season of Sharing campaign, along with issues surrounding housing, utilities, child care, and transportation in the area. She can be reached at [email protected].*
https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/amid-challenges-sarasota-mom-finds-120545331.html
